Tuesday, 5 February 2013

Reincarnation And Cocain Cat

Reincarnation, do you believe in it? I am not sure I believe in reincarnation but whether or not one believes in it I guess this true story is about reincarnation.
Have you ever heard the track ‘Cocaine Cat’ by John Martin?
I have,
I would like to tell you a true story about both those times.
When I was at school I had a best friend, his name was Steve, he was about as useless at school as I was but he had a talent, he was a most talented guitar player.
Many a time we would stay up all night jamming, talking about life, just doing all the things best friends do.
As we grew up and left school we saw each other less and less.
Steve followed a path as a musician I became a businessman.
I cant remember now how it happened but one day we met up and he looked terrible. I took him back to my place for a bath and a meal and a chat, it was good to have some time with my friend again, even if he was a little stranger than I knew him to be at school.
The morning he was to leave we were just about to go when he took out a cassette and told me I had to just listen one track. It was ‘Cocaine Cat’ by John Martin, Steve told me it was his favourite song.
That was the last time I ever saw him.
A few months later I got a phone call from a friend of his, Steve was in mental hospital and was asking if I could visit him.
I was young, a busy businessman full of my own importance, I think I may have meant to go but never did make the effort to see my friend. I regret it
Twenty years later I was divorced, skint, and training to be nurse for people with learning dissablilities in Southport.
A fellow male nurse, I shall just call him D, and I became good friends.
D started to date a girl I shall call S,
At first I didn’t notice anything strange, well there was nothing strange to notice unless one had been Steve’s friend but the first thing I noticed was she looked like him, no she didn’t look like a guy!! She looked as if she could be his daughter. As time went on and I got to see her more I could just see Steve in her, it wasn’t just her look it was her mannerisms as well.
I don’t know if it was my guilt about abandoning Steve or my state of mind but as time went on the whole thing became impossible to keep to myself.
I spoke to D and asked if they wanted to come over, I told him I couldn’t really say all I have to say twice but that I really needed to speak with S.
To my complete surprise he told me that for weeks she had wanted to discuss something with me!
That night they were sitting in my room and I told them the story about Steve and about how S just reminded me of him so much. At that point the only thing I could think was that she was some kind of reincarnation of him, my guilt making up the story that in his depression Steve had taken the ultimate exit.
S was visibly shaking, she tried to talk but at first could make no sense, the room was electric, what had I done, I thought, I shouldn’t have said anything, I felt terrible and was certainly not expecting what she was about to say.
She recovered her composure and started to tell me her story.
S was adopted, from the first moment she met me she felt I knew something about her biological parents, this feeling had been growing and growing!
I don’t know how to describe how I felt, scared, excited, as if having just uncovered a terrible secret, there was no answer, just a deepening of my feelings and more, bigger questions.
S was convinced I could help her find her parents, I was convinced S was the reincarnation of Steve.
S asked me if I had a photo of Steve, as it happens Steve was in a band that had released a record in the days of record covers! On the cover was a photo of Steve. I had always kept the record wherever I had gone and gave it to her.
Time went on and the urgency of the situation just seemed to fade away, D and S split up but I kept in contact with S.
I eventually qualified and moved away but it wasn’t a successful move.
To cut out the start of another story for another time I eventually found myself wandering around Southport again and bumped into S.
She invited me round for a meal that night and we spent a pleasant night eating and talking, I had a big decision to make at that time and was enjoying telling her my situation and appreciated her helping me to put my situation into perspective.
Finally it was time to go, as I got up S said,
and I swear to God she used the same words I’d heard 20 years before
“ just listen to this track”
and on came ‘Cocaine Cat’ by John Martin
“its my favourite song” she said.

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